Monkey Monday -12.08.08

I need a vacation.  I am officially brain dead. It has taken me 15 minutes to get this far on this post.  Coal is snoring on the couch and I want to seriously join him but I got stuff to do.  So what does this have to do with Monkeys?  Absolutely nothing except for the fact my mind racing 20,000 different directions and the name of this dude is on path 20,001.

In the interest of time, I'm going to make something up.  I think a good name for this guy would be Penny.  Because that is about all I ever leave Vegas with is a few pennies.  Yeah, I know Penny is a girl's name but like I mentioned earlier, I'm tired and they are my monkeys so I can call them whatever I want.

Monkey Monday - 12.01.08

Hi!  Hi!  Hi! Hi!  It's Coal again - I watched my Mommy playing with her computer earlier and it looks like fun.  My Mommy gets to show off her monkeys so I asked her to take a picture of my favorite monkey.  

I love this monkey.  I haven't had him for very long but you can see that he is really well loved. I don't know why he is missing his legs (I think Daddy threw them away).  I love giving the monkey head kisses and a few love nips.  Mommy and Daddy just love it when my monk-monk and I talk to each other!  Monk-monk kind of has a high squeaky voice but I love listening to him talk to me.  We can talk for hours!!

I want to thank SoccerMonkey and Mommy's WorkTwin for my presents.  I think there is more stuff in the bag but Mommy and Daddy hid it from me and I can't reach the top of the fridge to find out what is in there.  

Oh yeah, the boney's are soooo delicious!  I love them so much that Daddy went and bought me some more tonight.

Monkey Monday - 11.17.08

Yes, I know it isn't Monday yet.  But since I have to fly out of town tomorrow for a business trip, I didn't want to disappoint SoccerMonkey by not posting a monkey.

This crazy safari monkey is named Dan-o.  Please forgive the blurred out slogan on his shirt, but we have to protect the innocent!  Dan-o was actually a give away at one of our conferences.  I didn't attend but I understand that if you attended, you got to dress the part with the safari hat and vest.  I'm so sorry I missed that one! Dan-o came home with one of my coworkers but I had to do some fancy talkin' to get him to give him up.  (Okay, I didn't have to beg much, he parted with it of his own free will).

So wish me luck on my upcoming trip.  I feel horrible and flying with an earache should be so much fun!  Hopefully, the drugs Mr.Monkeygirl got for me will start kicking in soon.  See ya'll later this week - I'm off to the warm desert instead of the freezing cold midwest!

Monkey Monday - 11.10.08

What a bargain!  Today you get two monkeys for the price of one!!  Meet Madison and Lexington.  They had a long, tough journey back to the Midwest but we finally made it home! (Sorry Ann, but I guess these monkeys are naked too!  But Maddie has a really cool tattoo!)

I met Maddie and Lexie on my first trip to the Big Apple.  We hit it off and while I wanted to bring them home, their - ahem - "adoption" papers were completed yet. (Okay, I saw them in the first 4 shops in Times Square so I thought everyone had them.  Wrong-o!  By the time I got back to the original stores, we were freezing to death and ready to head back to the hotel so we skipped out on Monkey shopping.)

I knew that the first thing I wanted to do when I headed back to NYC was to go to Times Square and finalize the "adoption".  Day 1 - mission accomplished.  I managed to trek from my hotel at Central Park to Times Square and back without getting completely lost.  For the record, I have a horrible sense of direction - even in New York, I get turned around easily.  I even picked up the most excellent souvenir for Skaterboy, an exclusive NYC skateboard - complete!

Now comes the fun part.  After being on the road for a week (Newark, Trenton, Manhattan, Brooklyn), I was ready to head home.  I like to travel but a week alone is a little much and I was trying to win/plan a wedding from my hotel room, so I was ready to go.  After my final day in the office, I headed for the airport. Not that I should be surprised, but our flight leaving LaGuardia was delayed.  Not as much as some other flights, but we were still delayed.  Maddie and Lexie are great travel companions so they didn't complain.  When we landed in DC, we were held away from the gate for awhile thus making sure we had absolutely no time to make our connecting flight home.  The 3 of us stood patiently in line waiting for the airline to get us on the next flight out.  

After standing in line for 3 hours, we found out that we would have to wait until morning to go home.  Good thing I decided to take advantage of the corporate travel agency to book myself a hotel room rather than be at the mercy of the airline and their vouchers.  While it might be a coincidence, I think that the nicer you are to the ticket agent, the better your alternate travel plans will be.  The woman next to me who screamed and yelled at the agent?  She had to catch a 5 am flight with 3 different connections only to arrive at the same destination as me - 4 hours after I got home!  My flight?  Leave at 10:30. One connection.

On the shuttle to the main terminal, I found out that we were held on the ground because a plane at the gate was struck by lighting 3 times. Okay, now Maddie, Lexie and I are stuck in DC for the night but we didn't get electrocuted, so all was good.  By the time I caught the hotel shuttle, it was getting close to Midnight and the monkeys and I hadn't eaten for about 12 hours.  I wasn't complaining but it had been a long day (and a really long week) so when the shuttle driver asked me about my day, he got the whole story.  Being a complete sweetheart, he took me to my hotel, waited for me to check in and then drove me to a restaurant near the hotel so I could get something to eat.  The monkeys and I were extremely grateful and he refused to take any tip money from us even though wwe begged and pleaded with him.  His comment "You deserve to have something good happen to you today!"  

After a bite to eat and a huge margarita, I headed back to what was the world's most comfortable bed.  Maybe I was just exhausted, but I loved this bed. I even wanted to redecorate my bedroom at home to match this hotel room - it was gorgeous!  Refreshed from a good meal and a good night's sleep, we headed back to the airport for what was hopefully our final legs of the trip.  I ran into a bunch of ladies from our long wait in line the night before and learned that they ended up having to share a room and the hotel was horrible.  They didn't have shuttle service so they had to take a cab and the room was disgusting and they didn't get their wake-up call.  Plus, even with the airline voucher, they paid about 50% more for their room than I did.  Man was I glad that I decided to book my own room!  I felt a little guilty describing my night but in some ways it was nice to see the look on the evil ladies faces!  Besides, I'm not sure how they would have felt about sharing a room with two monkeys!

We finally made it home only to discover that our luggage was nowhere to be found.  I made the trip to the airline's baggage service counter only to be told that they knew my bag was here and to go check one more time.  Dutifully, I went back and no luggage.  Of course, by the time I got back to the luggage service desk, their was a huge long line of people. Maddie and Lexie were ready to mutiny so I was ready to head home and come back later when I spied my suitcase sitting in the corner.  No way was I waiting patiently for 30 people to fill out claim forms so I snuck up to the door and grabbed my suitcase and headed home!

I got a lot of comments and weird looks on this trip home but it wasn't because of the monkeys.  It was because I was hauling Skaterboy's souvenir skateboard with me the entire day.  I do not recommend hauling one around for fun, but if you ever wanted to have an excellent ice breaker, then this is the ticket!  I guess if I was 18 it wouldn't have been so unusual to see but a 30+ woman in a business suit with a skateboard and a pair of monkeys must have been a sight to behold!

Monkey Monday - 10.27.08

You can have a given name, a nickname, a surname, even a viking name if you want.  But living without a name can be problematic - even for a monkey.  After awhile, everyone will eventually get tired of hearing "hey you" when you are trying to get their attention.

Thankfully, SoccerMonkey came to the rescue again!  What is the perfect name for a cute girl monkey with a beautiful flower in her hair?  Duh, Goldie.  Why didn't I think of that one!  SoccerMonkey is very good at giving critters names that totally fit and once again, she came to the rescue.

So say Hi to Goldie - who is thrilled to death with her new name.  So happy, that she wears her name tag at all times!

Monkey Monday- Emmie - 09.29.08

There once was a lovely little girl who lived over the river with her Mommy and Daddy.  She was a sweet little thing who loved to dance and play.  She was especially excellent at playing soccer, so she became know far and wide as SoccerMonkey.

One day SoccerMonkey had to make a trip with her Mommy to the place her Mommy worked at.  SoccerMonkey didn't really want to go but she loved her Mommy so she went along cheerfully.  Imagine her surprise when she got to Mommy's work and her Mommy showed her MonkeyGirl's office.  Why there were monkeys everywhere!  SoccerMonkey thought it was funny that a grown up would have all kinds of monkeys hanging around, but she still had fun that day.

When SoccerMonkey got home, she was still thinking of the monkeys.  She went quietly to her Mommy to ask her a question.  "Mommy?" she whispered in her Mommy's ear.  "Do you think MonkeyGirl would like another monkey?"  Her Mommy thought about it for a minute and asked her why she would ask such a question. "Well" SoccerMonkey started, "I have a monkey in my room and I think she would like to hang out and play with all of the other monkeys.  Would it be okay if I gave MonkeyGirl my monkey?"  Her Mommy thought it was a great idea.  

So this is the story of how my monkey family grew by one more monkey.  A very sweet (and darn cute, I might add) little girl gave up her monkey so that I could add on to my monkey family.  Of course, it doesn't hurt that Emmie has a face that only a mother could love!  Thanks SoccerMonkey, Emmie will always be one of my favorite monkey's because she was a gift from someone very special!

Monkey Monday - 09.01.08

You give a monkey a simple task and sometimes they will succeed and sometimes they will fail miserably.  You might recall that last week, the monkeys were a little busy.

Since the Republican National Convention is a low-key affair due to the Hurricane, the monkeys were free this week.  They had all kinds of free time on their hands and they should have been able to accomplish the simple mission they had from last week.

You might recall my most excellent friend Nik complaining about being serenaded by twangy country music.  I sent the smartest monkey in the bunch, Timmy the Think Geek, on a secret mission. Timmy is a code monkey which may be insulting to some, but in the monkey world, a code monkey is as close to Einstein as you can get.

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to cross the river to the residence across the road from This D*mn House.  Inside this house you will find a variety of country music CD's most likely from the Time Life collection.  These CD's must be destroyed in order to maintain peace and tranquility for all.  Should you, or any member of your team be caught, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.  This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.........kapow!

Disguised as a Mean Old Man, Timmy set off on his top secret mission.  No one heard from Timmy for days as he was maintaining radio silence in order to not blow his cover.  This morning, we found Timmy on the back porch napping after his long trip.  He was so proud of himself for completing his mission and bringing back the offending CD.  Unfortunately, I forgot that Code Monkey's don't know how to read very well.  Maybe next time, Nik, maybe next time!

Monkey Monday

Say "Hello" to this week's poster monkey - Arnold.

Even though Arnold doesn't like to admit it, he is the senior member of the Monkeygirl tribe.  Before Arnold joined the Monkeygirl tribe, he was an undercover chimp.  His final assignment for the Chimp Force was posing as a Kindergarden teacher to guard a prime witness for an upcoming trial.  It was on this assignment that Arnold was awarded the Medal of Valor.  When one of the baby chimps in his class was threatened by a hot desk lamp, Arnold thought only of protecting the innocent chimp and flung himself over the lamp saving the baby from any harm. Arnold suffered from a severe case of "molten stuffing" that ended his career as an undercover chimp.  After being released from the hospital, Arnold visited his former class to reassure them he was fine.  "It is not a tumor!" was the most often repeated phrase on that visit.

Introducing Monkey Mondays

It all started with a song.  You know the kind of song that just catches your ear.  The ones that make you grab the volume knob and turn right.  It's the kind of song that makes me want to dance (and I have no rhythm - at all).  A catchy little tune that makes me smile, no matter how bad my day has been.

It all started with one song by a band with a silly name.  A band that has to have a good sense of humor.  Or an excellent sense of marketing.  The name sounds raunchy, but the music isn't.  Music that you could play for your Mom without making her blush (and that isn't easy for me to do).

A simple little tune by The Barenaked Ladies called "Another Postcard" became my anthem. I made everyone who couldn't escape listen to this song.  I'm not a huge BNL fan, but this song is catchy.  It makes me laugh.  Picturing all of the monkeys tickles my insides.  I bought the CD.  It was always in my car.  But that was all the further it went.  Until one fateful day.

"You can't imagine so many monkeys in the daily mail

 And all of them coming anonymously so they leave no trail"

I started to get anonymous postcards.  Not just regular postcards, but postcards from overseas.  Stationary filled with Chimpanzees.  And everyone was addressed to me.  The postcards started to portray the lyrics of the song.  It was kind of freaking me out.  But at the same time, it was fun.  How many times do you look forward to picking your daily mail?

As a tribute to my monkey sending anonymous friend, I started my own monkey tribe.  I have gathered monkeys from far and wide.  Some tribe members have been given to me as a gift from friends.  Some were prizes.  But I love them all and they all "live" in my office.  It isn't your typical office decor, but it is a good icebreaker!

So I have decided to introduce everyone to the member of my tribe each week.

This Monday's monkey is Swinger.  You will undoubtedly recognize Swinger as he lives on my blog.  Swinger is a lover.  He is also a bit of a chicken and doesn't like heights. Swinger was a little embarrased when he was named "Sexiest Monkey in the Office" by Primate magazine (the companion magazine to People). Since winning the award, he has been hounded by the paparazzi, so he has hired Godzilla as his body guard.  Godzilla doesn't mind protecting Swinger as you can tell from the photo that graces my blog page.  Although, there have been a few times that 'Zilla forgets that he is a herbivore! 

Tune in next week for the next introduction.  Oh, yeah, and at the end of the tribe introductions, I might actually reveal my anonymous postcard sending friend!