Position: Filled

Some days I wish I had an assistant.  I haven't been successful in convincing the powers that be that it is a necessity, but a girl can still wish for some help.

Tonight I think I found the perfect assistant.  She definitely has the right attitude and she thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread.  She is very petite so she won't need a very big space to work in. And I'm pretty sure I can afford to meet her salary demands (a feathery pink princess crown, a glittery star wand, and some chocolate chip cookies).  My 3 year old has volunteered to be my new assistant.  We worked on her phone responses tonight - the instructions - whatever they ask for the answer is "no!'.  

We didn't get off to a very good start but I was testing the waters.  She agreed to a kiss and a big, smoochy hug even though I instructed her that the answer was always "no".  We tried again.  "Can I have some more money?" I got a timid "no".  Now we are getting somewhere.  "Can I have some more time?" I asked.  The answer "No, dude!"  Seriously, she used the word "dude"!  If I could only get everyone to use the word "correct-a-mundo" on the phone with her they would get the lecture.  It is so cute to hear this little pixie look up at you wagging her little finger, one hand on her hip, and her head cocked off to the side as she is saying "I told you to stop saying that word."  What word, we always ask.  "You know, correk a mungo."  It makes me giggle every time.  

So if it wasn't against child labor laws, I would have a new assistant in the morning and would immediately pass an edict that everyone must use "correk a  mungo" when calling me and ask her what you call that eight legged sea creature is called.  You know the one - the "applepus"!

My Word of the Day

Incompetence - Devoid of those qualities requisite for effective conduct or action.

I had a bad day at work today.  Nothing was easy (yes, I know work isn't always easy) but today was one of those challenging days were I wished e-mail was never invented.  I'm not sure I could explain the level of duh! I encountered today but suffice it to say that it was not pretty.  Not everything was bad but apparently there is a big misunderstanding about the following words:

• Immediately means without delay or instantly to me.  My job is to prioritize things and tell people what to do - for other departments.  It's a good thing we don't deal in life or death issues because apparently, immediately means 8 hours later to some people.  
• No means no!  I can only tell someone so many times that something isn't available, doesn't exist or can't be done before I lose my patience.  I try to be nice and polite but it's a good thing you can't read between the lines on e-mails!

On the bright side, I had a very good experience today as well that helped balance out the bad.  It was a little weird but so cool.  I ran into a woman today who looked familiar and we exchanged pleasantries.  "You are 'Monkeygirl' right?" she said. (She used my real name not Monkeygirl)  She went on to tell me that she attended my presentation the other day and she really enjoyed it.  Wow!  I was impressed that she remembered me and that she had such wonderfully good things to say.  The weird part was this entire exchange occurred in the women's restroom!  It was great but not exactly the best place to hold a professional conversation.

Beaten but not Broken

I have been beaten down over the last couple of days.  Relatively simple things are causing me fits.  I spend all day slaving away at my PC and at the end of the day, I still have nothing to show.  I'm starting to panic.

What I need to do should be relatively simple.  It's just a form.  I've seen this form in my head for months and months.  It is not rocket science.  It should be easy to create.  

But, I can't just create any form - it has to be easy to follow, e-mailable, faxable, it can't be too long, it can't take too many steps to use it. Sounds easy - right?  But wait, we also decided that sending it as an attachment isn't something we want to do.  Still not rocket science material.  

I spent yesterday trying to determine how to use some existing software.  It didn't look that hard.  I was making progress.  I saved early and often.  I left the office feeling good.  

Karma was smiling on me today and the only meeting I had got cancelled.  I had the entire day to crank this one form out.  When I opened my masterpiece from yesterday, all of my work was gone.  Undaunted, I decided it was better to start over than whine about the missing data.  Besides, I had some new ideas that I wanted to try.  

I spent all morning working on the form.  I got it to a point where I was ready to print it to see what it looked like on paper.  I fired up my trusty printer and I got - you guessed it - nothing!  Still not flustered, I started over  - again!  By the time I got to quitting time, I had recreated yet another masterpiece.  I tried to send my masterpiece to myself before I left and once again - NOTHING! I wandered off to the gym to take out my frustration on the Beast.

I vow not to give up and to try again tomorrow.  When I was explaining my dilemma to Mr. MonkeyGirl he casually mentioned how the forms he uses at work were created and how they use them.  Did I ever tell you how much I love him?!! I think he might have completely solved my problems and hopefully I will have something to show for all my hard work by the time I leave the office tomorrow. If not, I have a lot of time this weekend to work on my resume!