An Open Letter to Salesmen

Dear Sales Guy,

I asked you into my home because I need something that you have to offer.  Or at the very least, something you have to offer intrigued me enough to find out more. It takes a special kind of person to do your job.  I can appreciate what you do but I have a few things to get off my chest.

First, if you set an appointment with me for a day and time that was your idea, you should have a really good reason for canceling on me.  Not one time, but twice (and almost 3 times).  Better yet, if you are the Sales "Manager/Trainer" who is sitting at my kitchen table, you should knows that this happened to me before you tell me how you purposely overbook appointments on the hope that somebody cancels or backs-out.

Secondly, I think it is a small world that you know someone that I work with.  I even find it slightly amusing that you figured out where I worked based on the description of what I do (although I work in a very specialized industry without much local competition, so it wasn't hard).  But I'm sorry, some of the stories you relayed to me were very personal and quite frankly, a little uncomfortable to hear. You have no idea what my working relationship is with "one of your 5 best buds". I might have a big mouth and my colleague may not want this type of information shared about their past. You obviously aren't very good at reading body language either. Not once did you pick up on my obvious discomfort - I really didn't want to know these types of things and thought it was inappropriate to share that kind of information with a stranger.  Oh, and your future relative that was recently "fired for no apparent reason"?  Not understanding why might be a big part of the overall problem of continuing employment- 'nuf said.

Finally, I appreciate the fact that it is more cost effective for you to close the sale on your first visit.  I can even appreciate that you are trying to make some money on the job or service that you are trying to sell me.  But don't insult the customer.  If you p!ss me off, I most assuredly won't buy from you.  I would like the time to think about what you are offering me.  Consider the fact that I walked in the door after you did tonight, I never had a chance to sit down and relax for a minute - or eat dinner.  I even showed you what I wanted done before I even took off my coat!  You talked almost non-stop for 3 solid hours without taking a breath and then asked me to make a decision in 3 minutes.  When I requested some more time, what did you do?  You basically told me I was an idiot, that I would never call you back and then you pouted and took your toys and went home.  Never mind the fact that I just told you that my husband may go on strike any day now. Never mind the fact that the economy really sucks right now and making any type of big investment is risky.  Never mind, I'm obviously stupid and have no idea what I am doing nor will I ever be a "professional" buyer - at least that is what I got out of your parting comments.

It's too bad, you seemed to have something that I need and for a price that I'm willing to pay.  I can even overlook the cancelled appointments and the inappropriate stories about an old friend, but when you insult my intelligence - you are D-O-N-E.

Sincerely,

Mr. and Mrs. Monkeygirl

The Bunny Brought Wheels

The Easter Bunny made a stop at our house today.  Not for Skaterboy, he is sooo past that (kind of) but he stopped for the local niece and nephew.  EB left a note for the M&M's....

I stopped by and left you some Easter treats!  I hid them in the front yard for you to find.  Be sure to share with each other the goodies you find.  Have a great Easter!

They had so much fun finding the eggs, that were no so well hidden in the tulips and fountain grasses in the front yard.  They were so excited, running back and forth, looking for eggs whenever they could find them.  When their baskets were full, we headed around the back of the house.

I think all of the neighbors could hear their squeals of delight when they say what waited for them in the driveway - two brand new shiny bicycles.  M-boy has a cool silver and red bmx bike and M-girl has a Tinkerbell bike complete with flowers and music!  (I love 'em to death but the bikes were from Mommy - a late/early birthday present) 

They had to test them out right away which was a little bit of a challenge.  While we have a very large driveway, the 4 cars of our guests took up most of the flat spaces. A couple of the cars were parked alongside the house so the space for wobbling steering was limited. No amount of discussion would persuade them from their maiden voyage so we carefully navigated them between the cars and the house to the open road!

It started to sprinkle right around dinner time which was a blessing in disguise.  If it hadn't started to rain, we would have had to serve them dinner outside as they rode around in circles!

All Cleaned Up

Taking advantage of a Friday afternoon free of meetings, I took the afternoon off to meet a couple of people at house to see if we can't knock some of our home improvement stuff off the list. 

I mentioned the other day that we need to redo our master bath among other things.  The biggest problem I have, I don't know what I want.  I generally have a vision in my head and all I have to do is figure out how to afford that vision.  This time - the head is blank.  trying to get ideas, I've scoured the internet for ideas for "small" baths.  I guess my idea of a small bathroom differs from what you find on the internet because these bathrooms are huge in comparison.  I also don't have $30 grand to spend on a room that I spend little time in.   

We have even gone to the local home improvement stores looking for ideas and nothing is clicking for me.  When we stopped by a booth at a local home show last weekend and I told the kid manning the boot that I didn't know what I wanted, he countered with "we can work up a 3-D model for you so you can get some ideas. Sounded like a great idea to me so we signed up for an in-home visit.

We set our appointment for Thursday.  On Wednesday afternoon they call to confirm the appointment, we are set.  Wednesday night, they call to say that they overbooked and could we move it to Friday.  We negotiate a time when both Mr. and Mrs. Monkeygirl would be home and we are set.  Thursday night, they call again to confirm.  So, tonight, 10 minutes after our scheduled appointment time, they call again.  Oops, they need to reschedule again for next week because they are really busy.  Uhm, do they care that we went out of or way to make sure we were home for them?  Do they care that I raced home to actually clean the bathroom first (I don't want them to see it dirty!!)? Is it just me, or is it kind of rude?  I'm happy for them that they are really busy and that they are getting all kinds of business from the home show, but I have my limits.  

We rescheduled the appointment - again - for Monday.  If they cancel on me again, then I'm done.  A girl can only clean so many times in one week!

Pins and Needles

Spring has finally sprung and it seems like almost everyone on my street has started some type of home improvement project.  Dr. Evil and his clan recently remodeled a bathroom in his lair.  The neighbors on the other side remodeled their bathroom and are in the process of redoing their kitchen.  All of this construction going on has us thinking about what we want to do around our house.  And the list is looooong.

• Completely gut and remodel the Master Bath.  Thanks to a leaky shower that a 'handyman' supposedly fixed, we think we have to rip up the sub floor and start over again.
• Once the bath is finished, I want to paint and redecorate the master bedroom.  It needs it because we haven't touched it at all - it still has the previous owners paint job and curtains.
• Our hall bath could use an update.  I kind of like the lemon yellow tub and potty but it does make the room a little dated!
• We need to repaint the entire hallway and we want to replace the trim so it matches what is in the kitchen and family room.
• We would like to rip up the carpet and refinish the hardwood floors in the living room/dining room and strip the wallpaper and repaint that room as well.

And that's just the projects we want to do inside.  Outside is another long list of expensive projects.

• Resod the dirt patches in the front and back yards.
• Replace the fencing around the pool.
• Repaint the front and back porches (poured concrete that looks like brick work).
• Replace the garage door.
• Replace the front and back doors.
• Re-install all of the landscape lights that Coal has ripped out in the past few months.
• Speaking of Coal, install an underground fencing system for him so he has more space to roam and doesn't get tangled up every 5 minutes on something.
• Repaint the pool and completely replace the faux tile around the edge.
• Repave the driveway (It was damaged in a wicked hail storm about a year before we bought the house and is in bad shape).

And I could go on and on.  While we have alot of ideas about what we want to do, we have to be very careful about what we commit to.  Mr. Monkeygirl is a union guy and his contract expired last week.  Right now they are working under the current contract but we don't know if they will settle, go on strike, or get locked-out.  Until all that is settled, we are going to be cautious.  We have someone coming out to give us a bid on the master bath job and the doggie fence so we know what kind of money we need.  But while we are waiting on pins and needles for the contract negotiation to be settled, we aren't going to make any big moves.  Wish us luck!

Domesticated

Mr. Monkeygirl married me for a variety of reasons, but my domestic skills were not high on the list.  As the saying goes "I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning, but not how they apply to me."  Today, I did my best to earn my domestic diva badge.  

Dust bunnies quivered in my sight as I launched my attack. There are portions of my kitchen counter that saw the light of day for the first time in months.  In horror, I realized that I still had the Christmas table cloth on the dining room table. I could probably have pulled off a red table cloth for Valentines day, but the green felt Christmas trees were a dead give-away that I was a little behind. (Ooops, that reminds me that I still have hearts hanging on the front door.  Dang, I better get out the eggs before it's too late!)

Now, the bathrooms are shining and you can see yourself in the counter in my office. Heck, it was just a major improvement to even get to the point where you could see the counter top in my office!  Daylight can shine brightly inside now that some of the winter sludge and puppy nose prints have been wiped away from the glass doors.  

Of course, having a 65 lb puppy makes some cleaning chores a bit of a challenge. I can only wipe away nose prints for a matter of minutes before he decides that he wants to lick and smell the reflection of the puppy he sees in the glass.  Ninety seconds after I finish cleaning my white counter top in the kitchen (who ever installed the bright white, textured counter top in this house should be shot!), muddy paws prints were deposited to make sure I didn't forget he existed. How can you miss a huge black puppy rolling around under your feet?

It took me most of the day but I got the cleaning part of my diva badge but I steadfastly refuse to work on the cooking part.  Sorry, Mr. Monekygirl, looks like you are going to still be stuck in the kitchen!

Shine on, Tigger

Perhaps they are not stars

but openings in heaven

where the love of our fur children

pours through and shines

down upon us to let us know...

they are at peace.

God bless you, Tigger.  I will look for your shining star in the evening sky.   

Not PB&J

When I was a kid, I was a picky eater.  I was not adventurous at all.  I'm pretty sure I went through a period where the only thing I would eat was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  I have no idea how long this lasted, but I'm pretty sure it was a long time.  Familiar foods would be ingested, but I was not really willing to try new things. For years we would go to a local Mexican chain and the only thing I would eat was a hamburger.  I could really be a pain in the buttockals when it came to meal time.

A few days ago, I was chatting with MonkeyMamma.  It had been a glorious day, so MonkeyMamma and her foreign exchange students went to a local bistro for lunch on the patio.  B wanted her salmon raw but they insisted on cooking it ever so slightly before they would serve it.  She was not happy.  Sounded like me that B was craving some sushi!  I suggested a fantastic sushi place near my office and casually mentioned that the sushi was awesome.

MonkeyMamma's reaction was hysterical!  She started to respond normally and then about 20 seconds later, she stopped dead in her tracks.  "You eat sushi?" she asked incredulously.  Why yes I do and I love it!  I know, the same girl who had a complete and total meltdown on a camping trip as a child because someone "stole" her PB&J sandwich.  The entire family looked high and low for the missing PB&J.  It was nowhere to be found.  We looked for what seemed like forever.  All of the sudden my dad started laughing at me.  Then everyone else started laughing.  Being a pre-teen aged girl, I was not amused.  I lost my lunch and they were just laughing about it.  Turns out that I somehow stuck my arm in the sandwich and it was stuck on the sleeve of my coat.

Today, the picky PB&J girl got to introduce her mother and baby sister to the joys of sushi.  They seemed to like it and hopefully will join me again some day soon. Now all I need to do is find a way to convince Mr. Monkeygirl into trying it....