Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Pumpkin Withdrawal

In years past, I would have already had a couple of jack-o-lanterns ready to go for the big holiday this weekend.  But not this year.  I've looked at pumpkins but haven't taken the plunge yet.  I'm not sure what I'm waiting for, it's not like they are going to go "bad" in the next couple of days.  

Maybe I'm procrastinating because I know that when I do buy a gourd, I will have to fight Skaterboy's repeated attempts to plead his way into using a chainsaw on the pumpkin.  No, he doesn't have Freddie Krueger tendencies.  One of my good friends, B started hosting a party years ago mixing power tools, pumpkins and alcohol.  It was always good fun and no one ever lost a limb or suffered any mortal wounds.  B couldn't host the party this year and I don't think anyone else is brave enough to take on the mess that results from hoards of people using drills, saws and other assorted power tools to create the best jack-o-lanterns ever.

Maybe I will relent and let Skaterboy use a power tool - in the back yard!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dumb things I learned at lunch...

Did you know that there is a song to do CPR to?  According to doctors, The BeeGee's "Staying Alive" is almost the perfect song to perform CPR to because it has 100 beats per minute.  

This prompted me to starting singing "ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive....." while practicing chest compression at the table in a crowded restaurant.  I wonder why my friends decided to leave me at that point in time.....

Monkey Monday - 10.27.08

You can have a given name, a nickname, a surname, even a viking name if you want.  But living without a name can be problematic - even for a monkey.  After awhile, everyone will eventually get tired of hearing "hey you" when you are trying to get their attention.

Thankfully, SoccerMonkey came to the rescue again!  What is the perfect name for a cute girl monkey with a beautiful flower in her hair?  Duh, Goldie.  Why didn't I think of that one!  SoccerMonkey is very good at giving critters names that totally fit and once again, she came to the rescue.

So say Hi to Goldie - who is thrilled to death with her new name.  So happy, that she wears her name tag at all times!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Gimme, it's mine!  I was playing with it first! I'm telling!

Mr. Monkeygirl stole my video game and won't give it back.  I am allowed to watch him play, but I am not allowed to say anything unless he specifically asks for help. That is soooo unfair!  I was playing it first!

It's Skaterboy's fault that I bought Lego Batman for the Mr.'s game system.  He told me that the Wii version was really hard to play.  I had to pay attention to his advice, after all, he is the kid in the house, right?!

It's Mr. Monkeygirl's fault that I have to use his office.  I don't have a TV (or a video game system) in my office yet so I can't play in there.  I can't monopolize the TV in the family room for hours on end.  Mr. M would never let me play video games when the race is on. So I have no choice but to take over his man space.

It's my brother's fault for getting me hooked on Lego games in the first place.  He made me play Lego StarWars with his kid.  I had no idea what I was doing and I had to star somewhere in the middle of the game.  But it was still fun!

I'm gonna go pout now in the corner since I can't get my way.  No fair!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Monkey Monday- Manny - 10.20.08

Now that the Red Sox are officially out of the playoffs, I guess I can post this week's monkey without any fear of being accused of cursing the playoff dreams.

I have to admit that I am not a huge baseball fan, but the playoffs can be exciting, especially when you are surrounded by fans of the game.  Cardinals fans are also not real fond of the Red Sox for some reason, but last year I found myself in the midst of the World Series frenzy in a way I never anticipated.  

I was at an annual conference that happened to be located just outside of Boston - during the series.  Now I also have to admit that I have a knack for "cursing" certain teams.  It seems that if I decide to root for a team by purchasing team gear, they immediately fall apart and start inventing new ways to suck at their given sport.  For example, our local hockey team started to get really hot.  They showed promise and looked like they could actually make it past the first round of the playoffs for a change.  They had depth and talent.  So what did I do to show my support, buy a sweater?  No that would have been too easy!  I got personalized hockey plates for my car boasting their upcoming Stanley Cup victory. Guess what, they completely fell apart.  I finally gave up on the plates after getting harassed everywhere I went for supporting a loser.

But I digress.  I wanted the Rockies to win the Series last year.  I wanted it so bad that I purchased a Boston Red Sox hat - and Manny.  Manny was just too cute with his punk rock hair style not to add to the monkey mix.  Besides, how often so you see souvenir baseball monkeys? So I made my purchases and hoped for the best. I guess the curse of the Bambino is finally over because in this case, it didn't work at all.  

And for the record, Manny is not named for the 2004 World Series MVP of the Boston Red Sox but rather the location that he came to become a part of my monkey family (Manchester, NH).

P.S. I also have to admit that I wear the baseball cap all of the time.  I love the way it fits and it is kind of funny to see people squirm uncomfortably at the store when they see a Red Sox hat!

Follow Up Report

The owner of This D*mn House was returned safely and soundly to her home shortly after 10:30 Saturday evening.  When interviewed just prior to returning, NV reported that she was well cared for by her captors, reporting that they made sure she kept hydrated and was well fed during her brief absence.

No charges have been pressed against her captors at this time and according to our inside sources, it is unlikely that charges will be filed.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

This just in....

The reports of no progress being made by NV at This D*mn House are true. SOurces have indicated that the owner/crazy girl who works all hours of the day and night on said house has been kidnapped again.  No word on any ransom demands being made at this point in time, but we are all expecting a safe return withi the next 24 hours.

Stay tuned for more updates as they become available. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Life Lessons From the Backseat

So far this week, I've learned a lot from the back seat occupants of my car.  The past two days I've picked up my niece and nephew and watched them for a couple of hours each night for my sister.  The M & M's are a cute pair - when they are on their best behavior - and they have been good this week.

Lesson One - When you are under 5 years old, a simple thing like the noise that the turn signals make is fascinating!  Every time I use the blinker, a silly song erupts from the back seat about turning soon.  Today they even decided to play a game - let's see who can keep their eyes closed until Aunt "bonkeygirl" makes another turn.

Lesson Two - No matter how hard you try, you cannot hide snacks from a hungry 4 year old.  Nor from his equally hungry 3 year old sister.  They spot snacks in my pantry or freezer that even I didn't know I had.  Powder donuts, Indiana Jones Pop-tarts, Lunchables and Jello pudding snacks were all spied and requested.  I had no idea we even had such delicious snacks in the house!

Lesson Three - "Moo Cows" are not appropriate for dinner.  For the uninitiated, Moo Cows are the chosen name for Skinny Cow Ice cream bars.  The little imps don't know how to read, but they spotted the cow on the box and have forever given them a new name.  As an aunt, it is my job to spoil them rotten, but I refuse to feed them ice cream for dinner.

Lesson Four - I missed the early years of Skaterboy's life (I got partial possession of the child when he was around 11) so the attention span of a toddler amazes me.  How can they remember that I have a book with a picture of a nest that looks similar to one they have on a set of flash cards at home but they can't remember that they just left the bathroom?  How can they demand pudding for dinner but as soon as I show up at the table with corn, they completely forget that we even have pudding in the house? (For the record, they had already eaten at Gramma's house so I was ok with feeding them pudding while I ate my dinner).

Lesson Five - The changing of the seasons are totally lost on M & M.  They only thing they know is that Aunt Bonkeygirl has a pool and they should be able to swim in it every time they come over.  Never mind that it is October and that it is way past swimming season in this part of the world.  All they know is that they want to swim and they can't understand why I put a blankie on the pool.  I didn't get a screaming hissy fit, but you could see the puzzled look on their faces as I tried to explain the concept of seasons and what fall means.

Lesson Six - No matter how completely chaotic and cr@ppy your day at work was, the look of sheer excitement and joy on M & M's faces when I show up to pick them up makes it all worth while.  Especially when you get a knee jarring hug from a flying 4 year old and a big smoochy hug from a 3 year old princess.

Friday, October 10, 2008

No Way, Not Yet

I have had some issues getting up this week. Each day got worse and worse.  One day I woke up at 8 am and was walking in my office at 8:45 showered, dressed and stressed out.  The next day, I woke up at 9 am.  And I scheduled a 9 am conference call.  Ooops!

I racked my brain trying to figure out why now.  Was it the stress of the past week? Maybe.  Was it the fact that is is darker in the mornings now?  I don't think so. Going to bed too late?  Always a possibility but I haven't been going to bed much later than usual.  Seasonal allergies? That usually has the opposite effect since breathing is difficult.  

Last night I checked and rechecked the alarm.  It was set for the right day, right time, right time zone.  The volume was set to a sufficiently jarring level.  Sound was coming out.  As a back up, I set my cell phone to an annoying volume and sound.  I was bound and determined not to oversleep this morning.

Fast forward to this morning at exactly 6:47 am.  The alarm goes off as it should. I lay there for half a second thinking that I'm losing my mind.  The lyrics start to sink into my brain...
Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
Me, I want a hula hoop....

You have got to be kidding me!  It must be a joke, they are not really playing Alvin and the Chipmunks.  And it's not really a Christmas song, it's way too early for that. I hit the snooze button and hoped for a return to reality in ten minutes. Much to my utter dismay, they are still playing Christmas music when the alarm goes off again.  Then I hear the new catch phrase "Your Holiday Station".  Are they crazy? It's 80 degrees outside.  My pool is still open.  It still sees a little too early to put out the Halloween decorations.  Why on earth are they playing Christmas music?

The station's website boasts that they play an "upbeat mix" and "42 minutes of uninterrupted music per hour".  Nothing on the station's website offers an explanation or even an inkling that they are playing all Christmas music.  Except the little "Now Playing" blurb at the top of the web page that currently says "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer by John Denver".  Okay, it isn't even good Christmas music.  

I have to admit that I don't listen to this station anywhere or anytime other than on my alarm clock.  We apparently have signal issues in our bedroom and it is one of the few stations that I could actually get in clearly.  My brain apparently was processing the Christmas music earlier in the week and was telling me it wasn't time yet, so I kept hitting the snooze button.  Now I understand why I couldn't get up.  Well, I gotta go now... Johnny Matthis is asking "Do You Hear What I Hear?" and I have to go claw my ears out!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sucker for the bags!

This is a shameless plug for a chance to win free stuff!  Handbag Planet is going to launch a new site in the next 6 days or so and they are offering a chance to win a free handbag by just registering for their site!  If I post their link, I get 25 extra entries into the contest.  Who couldn't use a free purse?  Check them out, I love their pitch - high fashion handbags without the high price!  If you want your own chance to win, click here!

Indian Giver

I hate to do this, but I'm desperate!  

To all of my friends that I have been so willing sharing my brain with over the past few years, I have a desperate plea...I need full and complete use over my brain again.  I promise that you can use as much as you want of my Cerebral cortex between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am Central Standard time, but I insist on exclusive rights to my brain functions for the remaining 16 hours of the day.

I really need to be careful what I wish for.  At the risk of sounding like Rodney Dangerfield "I don't get no respect!" was my battle cry for years.  But things changed earlier this year.  One of my biggest beefs for the past few years was that I wanted to be taken seriously.  I am an educated woman and I have the background to back up what I say.  Seriously, I have only spent all of my adult life working in the same industry (same company)- I think I know what I'm talking about.  I've worked on almost every side of the process - I've done it, managed it, trained others on it, even written the applications used to do it.  Yet, despite all of this experience, because I didn't have a "the title", I was often dismissed and over ridden.  Talk about pissin' a girl off!

But this has all changed in the past few months.  I have a new boss.  I didn't want to like her, she was so unlike my old boss, but I can't help myself.  She is cool - a tad bit hyper - but she can seriously affect change.  I don't have "the title" but I have gotten a lot more respect since she came on board.  People actually listen to what I have to say.  Some people even come to me seeking my advice that used to be the biggest poo-poo'ers of my ideas and opinions (NV - Especially my rude cow!).  

So, I finally am getting the respect that I thought I deserved all these years. Cool, right?  Eh, not so much!  I have discovered that with all of the new found respect also comes a huge amount of headache. I've already had over 16 hours of meetings this week alone and it's only Wednesday.  I have resorted to logging into my e-mail at stop lights on my way to work to try to figure out where I need to be first thing in the morning (no, I do not text and drive - I'm not that coordinated). I have to fight with people that I normally got along with really well (note to my former boss - mom and dad are fighting again and this time it's not so creepy).  I have to be a complete b*tch sometimes (okay, that really hasn't changed from before).  Some things I have to do, I don't even understand (there is a reason I changed my major from Accounting my freshman year).  

If I'm going to survive this new found glory, I need to regain complete autonomous control of the entire brain again.  Sorry, but a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Good Citizen

I guess I should be a good citizen and go watch the debate instead of playing on the internet.  Let's see who says what this time!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

We are out of Vodka

Mr. M: "Can I get you anything?"
Me:     "No, I think I'm good.  Why do you ask?"
Mr. M: "I'm thinking about a Bloody Mar....."
Me:    "Oh, me too!  I'd hate for you to drink alone." (jumping in before he can even finish the sentence)
A few minutes later, Mr. M reappears at my side with a glass of red deliciousness in his hand.
 Mr. M:  "It's a little thick but it's ok.  We are out of vodka"
 Me:      "What do ya' mean we're out of vodka?  There isn't alcohol in here?"

Suffice it to say, after this week, I need a drink.  It has been one of those weeks bad day/good day weeks.  For example:
  • Bad Side - I spilled soda inside my brand new designer purse.  I never have owned a designer handbag but I decided a month or so ago that I deserved one.  Good Side - I know know that I can use my purse an emergency canteen in a pinch.  It held every ounce of liquid.
  • Bad Side - Mr M fell down the final four basement steps the other night.  Unfortunately, he often heaves the laundry basket down the steps so I didn't think anything of the crash until I heard weird breathing noises from the kitchen.  Good Side - He is fine.  Just a little sore for a couple of days but no permanent injuries. 
  • Bad Side - A vital piece of data was never finalized for a project that is going live in 4 days.  I was livid when I found this out and I had to scramble to uncover as much info as I could in a couple of hours.  Good Side - I guess people do listen to me because they are actually going to do some more investigation tomorrow to make sure they don't totally F things up.
  • Bad Side - My work twin and I must completely sharing the brain this week.  For two days in a row, we have shown up to work in matching outfits.  Yesterday, we had on the exact same thing.  People already confuse us when we are on the phone together.  Now we would really confuse them if they saw us!  Good Side - It gave the gang in the office something to laugh about and it proves that we both have excellent tastes!
  • Bad Side - My Brain Sharing experiences have left me completely stupid. I had to go to the bank today to retrieve some important documents from the safe deposit box.  I found the keys and put them with my stuff.  I drove all the way to the bank and got all the way through the line before I realized, that I left the key to the box on the counter at home - doh!  So I had to make a trip home for the key and head back to the bank.  Good Side - Skaterboy has a new license and I got to work hours before I thought I would (thanks to his skater friend who happened to be going to the same place today, I didn't need to give up the car!!)
All of this means that it is practically Friday - YEAH!  Now I need to go so I can get a spoon to eat - er, I mean drink the rest of the night!