Dear "The Knot",

I know that planning a wedding is a big deal.  I know that many brides (and some grooms) feel that time flies when they are trying to plan their big day.  I know that sometimes the little things get lost in the shuffle of trying to coordinate what could be the biggest day of your life.  I know that sometimes I didn't really do things when I should even though your website would send me reminders of what I should be doing this month.  I put things off until the last minute.  I waited to make decisions until I absolutely was positive that I was making the right decision (my Mom says I inherited this trait from my Dad).  But, come on, this is ridiculous.

In today's offering from USPS, I got the assorted junk mail and a couple of bills. Mixed in the back of the pile of mail was a nice thick envelope addressed to me. There was a note printed on the envelope giving me a hint as to what wonderful offer waited for me inside.  "Enclosed find your free gift for becoming a member of The Knot". Curiosity got the best of me and I had to open it up since it was well past my wedding day. After all, my big day had come and gone almost 2 years ago. I thought that maybe it was a free copy of one of your other magazines, like The Nest, or please don't send this one to me, The Bump.  Nope, it was neither.  It was a free copy of the fall/winter guide to all things related to weddings for my region of the country. 

Three years ago when I was trying to plan my wedding, this would have been a great help and may have given me some ideas on what to do.  But now, well, it is just isn't very useful.  Don't get me wrong, I loved planning my wedding and in some sick, twisted way, it was actually kind of fun to stress out about how to win/plan a wedding from half way across the country (that is a story that is too long to post here) via the internet at a coffee shop, trying to pick a photographer who could capture our day without shooting the cliche shots that everyone has in the wedding album (oh, did I ever mention that I was a huge procrastinator and photographers book up well in advance, too?), trying to convince my friends that it would be "fun" to spend a day at my house helping me put together my invitations (I was determined to make my own invites - and thank you very much to all my 'make & take' friends who went along with my crazy ideas).  

All in all, I think I did pretty good on my own without having a guide to help me make the right choices. We had a blast, everyone had fun, the pictures were gorgeous, and the only mishap of the entire day was a slight miscommunication about who was supposed to provide the unity candle (thankfully, the chapel was conveniently located next door to a florist).  So, thanks for the offer but I don't think I will be planning another wedding any time soon.  Mr. Monkeygirl wouldn't approve!

Sincerely,  

Mrs. Monkeygirl